Stop the bitchin!!! - Day 57
Let's get this straight;
The bitching stops now!!!
Bitching abut one another or others children is Bullying. Plain and simple.
I am devastated to learn that the equestrian world is no different and has bully's within it.
Nothing specific has really happened to myself and J apart from the odd comment so this is a generalised observation post.
The nasty comments and actions directed at us have been about B not going to make anything special. Or that we don't know what we are doing with B. Also that B has a sore back which is why he has played up!
I mentioned in a previous post about there not being many boys at yards which has also been questioned. Well I know Im a teacher but it's not really rocket science to see. J is one of a few boys under the the age of 16 at our current yard. I've also commented on the lack of boys attire for everyday wear in that I have to purchase girls riding jodhpurs and t-shirts for him as I've noticed a lack of boys clothing - if I find any I will share them with you all and note I will NOT pay over the odds for them just because it's a niche market.
B is something very special to us and that's all that matters.
We didn't set out to buy a grand prix pony because neither J or I are ready for that.
Both J and I have been open and honest about our abilities and our difficulties so I agree we don't fully know what we are doing. However we are loving learning anything that we are having struggles with.
I have forked out a lot of money on vets to ensure the health and safety of our pony and I can assure you with a 5 stage vetting, saddler report and current vet stats the B is no pain whatsoever and he has been thoroughly checked over several times before purchase, after purchase and even this week!
It is rather offensive, rude and downright immature to assume that we would ride a pony when it is in pain or suffering from ill health.
But let me ask you this.
Is it ok to screen shot photos and videos of J and slate him?
No.
Is it ok for staff members to take videos of clients without their permission and then joke about them afterwards?
No.
Is it ok for grown men and women to watch other peoples children riding and openly mock their ability?
No.
Is it ok for grown women to screen shot children and what they're wearing and take the p**s out them?
No.
Is ok for grown people to sweep horse manure under someone else's stable? Or outside someone's shed because they haven't cleared it up?
No.
Whatever happened to talking? You know good old fashioned communication?
Whatever happened to encouraging others and support others regardless of level or ability? Especially when you don't know if people have a hidden disability?
While not all bullying is illegal (see the anti-bullying alliance website for more information) as someone who has regular safeguarding training I would suggest that anyone of any age having screen shots of children, clients, and anyone on their phones without their permission are walking a thin line with the legal system.
Trust me - it's not worth it.
I suggest bully's of any age and status go and get themselves a life. Go and see the world. Perhaps get some new friends of their own age and with their own interests which don't involve reducing others to tears. Find a mutual respect for others which doesn't involve illegally having minors (under 18's) images on their phone!
In Feb 2018 Instagram also stated that they will notify of people when a screenshot of their pictures has been taken. Independent article 7th Feb 2018
As a parent and an educator I ALWAYS monitor my sons online activity. This is as much to ensure his safety but also to ensure he is using the digital age appropriately. He is not old enough to have an Instagram account or Facebook account so he doesn't. I have signed up to these accounts which he does have access but not without my approval.
I give permission for his images to be uploaded but not to be used and abused by others.
That IS illegal!
You can take action and prevent bullying. See it, and report it. Say something. Stand up for yourselves or others.
There is an astonishing 85% of equestrians who have suffered at the hand of bullying.
Hannah Brooks from Facebook turned her life around from being a bullying victim in the yard to becoming an advocate for making a change in attitudes and stopping or preventing equestrian bullying. Hannah can offer support and advice and is ready to listen to your story if you have had struggles also.
Bullies often have some psychological mental health issue which results in them fixating on belittling others in a bid to make themselves feel better about themselves as they have low self esteem. New research shows that bullies have great self esteem and an over confidence which means they are untroubled by anxiety and lack prosocial behaviours.
It's so sad that bullies cannot exist without their victims.
This is then their drive to target those often younger than themselves and who they deem weaker.
Bullies are often never caught.
However there is always a loophole.
Karma is a bitch guys.
I would suggest anyone who is busy bitching get busy befriending others instead.
Let's keep our stables a safe and friendly environment for our young equestrians. Let's keep our stables a safe and fun environment for ALL equestrians regardless of their abilities.
Stay safe blogosphere.
KJB
xxx
The bitching stops now!!!
Bitching abut one another or others children is Bullying. Plain and simple.
I am devastated to learn that the equestrian world is no different and has bully's within it.
Nothing specific has really happened to myself and J apart from the odd comment so this is a generalised observation post.
The nasty comments and actions directed at us have been about B not going to make anything special. Or that we don't know what we are doing with B. Also that B has a sore back which is why he has played up!
I mentioned in a previous post about there not being many boys at yards which has also been questioned. Well I know Im a teacher but it's not really rocket science to see. J is one of a few boys under the the age of 16 at our current yard. I've also commented on the lack of boys attire for everyday wear in that I have to purchase girls riding jodhpurs and t-shirts for him as I've noticed a lack of boys clothing - if I find any I will share them with you all and note I will NOT pay over the odds for them just because it's a niche market.
B is something very special to us and that's all that matters.
We didn't set out to buy a grand prix pony because neither J or I are ready for that.
Both J and I have been open and honest about our abilities and our difficulties so I agree we don't fully know what we are doing. However we are loving learning anything that we are having struggles with.
I have forked out a lot of money on vets to ensure the health and safety of our pony and I can assure you with a 5 stage vetting, saddler report and current vet stats the B is no pain whatsoever and he has been thoroughly checked over several times before purchase, after purchase and even this week!
It is rather offensive, rude and downright immature to assume that we would ride a pony when it is in pain or suffering from ill health.
But let me ask you this.
Is it ok to screen shot photos and videos of J and slate him?
No.
Is it ok for staff members to take videos of clients without their permission and then joke about them afterwards?
No.
Is it ok for grown men and women to watch other peoples children riding and openly mock their ability?
No.
Is it ok for grown women to screen shot children and what they're wearing and take the p**s out them?
No.
Is ok for grown people to sweep horse manure under someone else's stable? Or outside someone's shed because they haven't cleared it up?
No.
Whatever happened to talking? You know good old fashioned communication?
Whatever happened to encouraging others and support others regardless of level or ability? Especially when you don't know if people have a hidden disability?
While not all bullying is illegal (see the anti-bullying alliance website for more information) as someone who has regular safeguarding training I would suggest that anyone of any age having screen shots of children, clients, and anyone on their phones without their permission are walking a thin line with the legal system.
Trust me - it's not worth it.
I suggest bully's of any age and status go and get themselves a life. Go and see the world. Perhaps get some new friends of their own age and with their own interests which don't involve reducing others to tears. Find a mutual respect for others which doesn't involve illegally having minors (under 18's) images on their phone!
In Feb 2018 Instagram also stated that they will notify of people when a screenshot of their pictures has been taken. Independent article 7th Feb 2018
As a parent and an educator I ALWAYS monitor my sons online activity. This is as much to ensure his safety but also to ensure he is using the digital age appropriately. He is not old enough to have an Instagram account or Facebook account so he doesn't. I have signed up to these accounts which he does have access but not without my approval.
I give permission for his images to be uploaded but not to be used and abused by others.
That IS illegal!
You can take action and prevent bullying. See it, and report it. Say something. Stand up for yourselves or others.
There is an astonishing 85% of equestrians who have suffered at the hand of bullying.
Hannah Brooks from Facebook turned her life around from being a bullying victim in the yard to becoming an advocate for making a change in attitudes and stopping or preventing equestrian bullying. Hannah can offer support and advice and is ready to listen to your story if you have had struggles also.
Bullies often have some psychological mental health issue which results in them fixating on belittling others in a bid to make themselves feel better about themselves as they have low self esteem. New research shows that bullies have great self esteem and an over confidence which means they are untroubled by anxiety and lack prosocial behaviours.
It's so sad that bullies cannot exist without their victims.
This is then their drive to target those often younger than themselves and who they deem weaker.
Bullies are often never caught.
However there is always a loophole.
Karma is a bitch guys.
I would suggest anyone who is busy bitching get busy befriending others instead.
Let's keep our stables a safe and friendly environment for our young equestrians. Let's keep our stables a safe and fun environment for ALL equestrians regardless of their abilities.
Stay safe blogosphere.
KJB
xxx
Comments