Bottle up Boston - Day 21
After a few days of self doubt, questioning my ability, J's ability and even Boston's ability to be a horsey family, I have had a rather peaceful evening.
While chores at the yard are monotonous, ritualistic and habitual in that it's the same thing day in and day out, I'm so thankful to have had many horses to practise on at a neighbouring yard. I have been exposed to different levels of mess and many types of bedding, stable size, horses and rugs etc.
Today I took J to that very yard for his weekly lesson which went well however he broke down in tears afterwards. He was tired and still not 100% from his cold and cough resulting in two days off school this week (something as a teacher I do not take lightly to doing often).
J didn't want to see B and said he was a stupid horse that we should just get rid of him. The trouble with ADHD, Dyspraxia and Dyslexia is that the smallest of incidents to you and I are magnified to those who are identified with them. Things are instantly blown way out of proportion and get turned into an almighty raucous for no apparent reason.
Being used to this I decided not to debate selling or keeping B but that J could stay in the car and snooze while I tended to our four legged friend. J was quite obviously not feeling right and he didn't need to be scolded for his outbursts - something I feel similarly about with B funnily enough.
Alas five mins of being alone J decided our company was better than no company.
Continuing with out routine we turned B out into the sand arena where he runs around while we muck out his stable, feeds and water.
Another couple put their horses out in the same arena and I welled up with joy as their young seven year old gelding befriended B. They were running around and playing like little children. It was breath-taking. Seeing them in their natural behaviours.
Having been professionally advised, regarding my anxieties, to reach out to people when I am struggling or unsure of a situation I spoke up to the friendly couple.
I voiced my concerns of having a young horse.
I voiced my concerns about his bad manners.
I voiced my concerns over all our abilities.
I was reassured and offered support in return.
I was reassured that the partner had to stand over and watch their seven year old gelding who had a tendency to barge through fences that my boy was more gentle and can be worked with.
I was reassured that I may have made new friends - something I struggle with especially as a single parent of almost eight years.
I wanted to bottle up these joyous feelings.
At the end of the night I give B a kiss goodbye on the end of his nose. It is the softest feeling and means so much more to me than it does to him.
I want to hold onto to that feeling forever.
KJB
xxx
While chores at the yard are monotonous, ritualistic and habitual in that it's the same thing day in and day out, I'm so thankful to have had many horses to practise on at a neighbouring yard. I have been exposed to different levels of mess and many types of bedding, stable size, horses and rugs etc.
Today I took J to that very yard for his weekly lesson which went well however he broke down in tears afterwards. He was tired and still not 100% from his cold and cough resulting in two days off school this week (something as a teacher I do not take lightly to doing often).
J didn't want to see B and said he was a stupid horse that we should just get rid of him. The trouble with ADHD, Dyspraxia and Dyslexia is that the smallest of incidents to you and I are magnified to those who are identified with them. Things are instantly blown way out of proportion and get turned into an almighty raucous for no apparent reason.
Being used to this I decided not to debate selling or keeping B but that J could stay in the car and snooze while I tended to our four legged friend. J was quite obviously not feeling right and he didn't need to be scolded for his outbursts - something I feel similarly about with B funnily enough.
Alas five mins of being alone J decided our company was better than no company.
Continuing with out routine we turned B out into the sand arena where he runs around while we muck out his stable, feeds and water.
Another couple put their horses out in the same arena and I welled up with joy as their young seven year old gelding befriended B. They were running around and playing like little children. It was breath-taking. Seeing them in their natural behaviours.
Having been professionally advised, regarding my anxieties, to reach out to people when I am struggling or unsure of a situation I spoke up to the friendly couple.
I voiced my concerns of having a young horse.
I voiced my concerns about his bad manners.
I voiced my concerns over all our abilities.
I was reassured and offered support in return.
I was reassured that the partner had to stand over and watch their seven year old gelding who had a tendency to barge through fences that my boy was more gentle and can be worked with.
I was reassured that I may have made new friends - something I struggle with especially as a single parent of almost eight years.
I wanted to bottle up these joyous feelings.
At the end of the night I give B a kiss goodbye on the end of his nose. It is the softest feeling and means so much more to me than it does to him.
I want to hold onto to that feeling forever.
KJB
xxx
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