KJB Pony Adventures

I did it! I completed my CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) course Whoop Whoop :-D It feels amazing to not only have completed something but also to know that I will probably always be anxious by nature (it's in my DNA) but with regular self-check-ins I will be perfectly ok to manage it. For I am now my very own therapist - hold the laughter please ;-) There has been a significant shift in my thought process of late which has not gone un-noticed by loved ones. I now see the glass as half full rather than half empty. No matter how many bumps life throws in the road ahead I will take my time and enjoy the journey with smaller manageable goals along the way. One of the biggest causes of my anxiety is when I worry too much about the future. Things that are literally out of my control. Things that may or may not happen but I add it to my day-to-day tasks which overwhelems me and then I let it consume me and take over the more immediate concerns. For example one of my bigges...

This week has been a really positive week for the KJB clan :-) Not only is the house starting to take shape - well my bedroom and J's clothes pile thus far. When you have a landlord inspection and throw everything in the wardrobe! Starting to look more organised. Thank you Marie Kondo for sparking joy in my life :-) I have spent time and energy passing on the items which I no longer have use for and now things are staring to look more organised. When talking to my mother about life as a single parent she once laughed and said "how do I expect to have someone move in with me when there isn't even room". Hopefully this is the start of good things to come. It's not only at home that things are moving forward. Things appear to have been improving at the yard too. Schooling Boston twice a week has proved to be just what he needed. Don't get me wrong we are a long way off being where we want him to be but I think we are making a little progre...

Since we have hired a friend to help us further Boston's education by schooling him twice a week I haven't felt compelled to write much about the process. I suppose on some level I have felt like I have let myself, Boston and J down in some way shape or form. Even though I positive that we are doing the right thing now. J and I haven't been riding B regularly throughout this process but going forward we will be riding him more often. Particularly focussing on hacking out and letting B realise that it isn't all hard work he can have fun as well as long as he is respectful of us and our safety and visa versa. B doesn't appear to be napping so much into the corners which is a tremendous result. He still has a long way to go especially with him putting his head down etc. Part of my anxiety triggers are when I feel uncertain about situations. It is safe to say that I have felt really uncertain about our future with B and how we can help him settle in more etc. It...

My little baby boy is turning 10 next Wednesday. I cannot believe how quickly he has grown. I am so proud of him and determination in everything he does. He has matured so much and adapted his learning to help him self. He is really applying himself at school and has a really promising future ahead of him. J is the most kind, caring and sensitive little boy who not only love all thing equine but every creature on God's green earth. If he could he would rescue hurt and abandoned animals and show them love and nurture. As J grows and hits double digits he is becoming more responsible by the day. In this birth year I would like to teach him how to cook and become more independent within his self care regime. All the while allowing him the freedom to play and imagine and generally be a child. I don't want him to grow up too quickly but I want to help equip him with the tools and life-skills he will undoubtedly need in years to come. I am almost excited as he is to open al...

After last weeks debacle with our boy Boston I took some time for me and went to visit my friends on their farm in Wiltshire. It was a well needed little break and while J went to visit his dad for a few days I got to wake up with astonishing views, breath in fresh countryside air and rid my chest of the tightening pain that was suffocating me. I was able to let my hair down on several nights with grown up conversations and drinks to celebrate. In the morning I went to unrug their ponies while in PJ's and sunglasses. Then I helped wash them in the yard - by help I mean sitting back to watch and soak up the rays. It was bliss not having to drive half an hour to go and see them and have everything on site. This is something I would like for J and I to have. A small holding with everything to cater for family life and to care for our animals - which I am sure will be growing. My friend was given some bunnies as a non valentines -valentines present. Well you can ima...

You may have heard that there has been an outbreak of Equine Flu recently? If not you can read it online here. I had B's equine jabs updated which unfortunately meant that we had to start his round all over again as it was too long since his last set of jabs. The vet booked in his second set of jabs for four weeks time to make sure he is all up to date and safe. While there the vet checked his saddle and bridle and said they fit well and that he isn't having any pain or discomfort because of these. By the way we have recently changed vets as I wanted a second opinion after everything we have gone through. This new vet is so caring and understanding and reassuring she is now helping us get to the bottom of Boston's change in behaviour and ensures us that if there is a medical issue we will find it. Alas the only thing which could cause him discomfort is his girth and blister pockets. I have never heard of these but apparently it is where the girth rubs against the ba...

Since last Monday's lesson J has had the most emotional week with B. I thought they were bonding? I thought B and I were bonding? Tonight I thought B was going to seriously injure himself and my son and I have never been so frozen in fear before as I was at that moment. J was excited for his lesson with the instructor I call his competition coach. He was so keen to show her how well B had improved again and make him sweat once more. Everyday J has been riding him - not flat out and not for extensive periods. Always with a walking warm up and directional changes to get both listening and active. B has continued with his napping to the corners, in particular the gate, resulting in J ending up in tears. Several bystanders have given their advice which I do appreciate but everything is conflicting and everything is overwhelming especially since I am feeling delicate regarding my anxiety at present. I am not one to drink alcohol with every meal or even every week. Th...

Today I took the plunge and dabbled in a bit of clipping. I have never clipped before and did my research about the best clip which suit Boston. When we first got him he came to us fully clipped (including having his mane and forelock hogged - which is now growing thankfully - having a son a girl needs a mane to plait and make pretty lol). Picture courtesy of Google I debated whether to go for a blanket clip or chaser as advised by my guru friend as Boston tends to sweat on his chest and sides. It is recommended not to clip long after January for it can affect the horses summer coat. I ummed and ahhed about clipping so late but as Boston will be working harder he will be benefit more from it. While talking on Twitter (My account is: @KjbPony ) I came across the best horse clipped pattern which made me think about doing something similar with B. It would look a little like this: Image courtesy of Google Not sure if I am brave enough to attempt a patte...

Image courtesy of My Loud Bipolar Whispers I lay in bed wishing after a bit of a rubbish day on the one hamd but a fun and productive day on the other. As I lay I wished how I could curl up with B for a cuddle bit knew deep down that he wouldn't have any of that. I wished tjat I could shelter in his stable and let the years flow and on some.level he would understand and muzzle his head into my lap as I wrap in a heap. However I knew that he's more than likely turn and present his rear at me instead. I felt like B didn't like me. I felt like the worst horse owner ever. This made me feel lonelier than ever. Despite having J in the bed next to me twiddling my hair for his sensory feedback, I felt incredibly alone. My mind wandered to my relative who passed recently and how they had been surrounded by family for which I was grateful but then as I pondered our last moments together. I couldn't stop the thoughts appearing in my head. Around and around t...

Hi all, How has the past few days been treating you? So I have had the most amazing week since the devastating day where I was told of the passing of a family member and then told I should seriously consider selling our beloved pony. Distraught at the prospect that I may be really messing up with being a pony owner and pony owner mum I enlisted the help of an amazing instructor who I may have mentioned  previously as my guru. As a very experienced rider, trainer and lecturer she has been amazing at teaching J at his level and using instructional language that he understands. For instance when she asks him to open the reins to allow Boston to go forward, thus preventing him from putting his head down and J tipping forward,  J calls it a Diamond because of the shape it makes. Instead of pony club kicks the guru says squeeze the toothpaste so therefore encouraging him to use his lower legs to press against the girth instead of swinging hi...